Do you ever wake up feeling that you have to do the same thing over and over again? Sometimes, I feel like I'm in a constant "Groundhog Day" sketch where I think I'm supposed to be learning something so that I can move on. So that I can progress into what I'm truly supposed to be doing. The quest for variety in my daily life has been one that I have to truly hunt for. When I'm stuck in the rut of feeling that there's nothing to do and that I'm doomed, then I have to fight my way out of it. It's like I'm locked in a very deep hole covered in vines that I must fight my way out. I'm trapped.
When I was a kid, I used to love "Choose Your Own Adventure" books. They seemed to be something that I wore the covers off of reading. It seemed to be that through those books, I had some bit of control of my own destiny and that I never knew what was going to happen next. I think that maybe we all want that. Some adventure in our lives. And don't get me wrong, there are moments when I start something new or do something remarkable that I feel that sense of adventure. I'm in one of those spots now where I'm about to begin some really great adventures.
I've had a lot of adventures in my life. And maybe I have a bit of adventure fatigue. Maybe I'm a bit tired and I'm looking to settle down. I don't truly know. I think there's a bit of limbo in my day to day that seems to have me pacing a lot. I pace a lot more than I used to pace. I'm in the middle of writing a zombie story that I seem to have been writing for quite some time now. The past three weeks, I haven't been writing. I've been wanting to read but I haven't actually done it. I'm in the in between on page 27 and it's asking me to choose. I'm not sure if I want to turn the page or not. But eventually, I will.
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