"Life is a highway, I want to ride it all night long" - Tom Cochrane
I've dealt with a tone of trauma in my life. And in a way, I feel like I may be dealing with the same trauma over and over again. Trauma causes pretty horrendous pain and over the long term can actually kill you. We really don't know how people are hurting in whatever way that they are hurting, but I feel that we try to get at the heart of what it is. And at the heart of what we are feeling is pain from outside sources that have made things painful. Maybe it was the divorce of your parents. Maybe it was abandonment. Maybe it was just being socially awkward as a kid. Maybe it was a death or divorce. Whatever it was, it seems many times to be a skipping record in your head and we're making the ultimate mashup of traumatic experiences in our life. It's like this story that keeps being created and retold. Crafted and perfected with different elements that don't quite go together. And it's the story we tell ourselves, over and over, that we're not worth anything. That no one wants us around. That we're worthless and useless and people don't care.
It's a story I've learned to tell myself very well. It's something that I've perfected and crafted into a story that ultimately is my downfall. It's the neural pathway that I constantly have to travel when anything reminds me of these things. And I feel the only way that I'm ever going to recover from these is going to be breaking the road. Taking the road less traveled. Take a different route. I believe this will come from telling my story confidently in a way that I want to tell and not the way that my brain tells the story for me.
I don't profess to be an expert on any of this, but I do know that awareness is key when you are talking about it. I'm taking an inventory and being very aware to not visit any of it on others. I would be interested to hear what you think about dealing with trauma. How do you rip the band-aid off the emotional scars in your brain so that they can let the sunshine in? Let me know in the comments below.